Musings from a Kitchen Counter

So I read a book last night. I slept through peacefully and when the gentle rays of the sunshine poured into the room through the clean white sheets and onto my face. I wanted to get up, but my mind was playing on.

“More sleep, I just need a few minutes under the covers,” while my head was having a tantrum by itself “Aren’t we old enough now to literally wake up and start adulting?”

Between the covers and in my head, the fight was on between a few extra minutes of sleep and waking up to cook scrumptious lunch

Eventually, I threw the covers, stepped into my mom’s shoes and headed straight towards the kitchen. My eyes were bloodshot because of the extended social media scrolling, that either by habit or choice I got accustomed to.

I turned on the burner, splatted oil onto the pan and then went in garlic, onions, chilies and that smell that wafted the air was heavenly. I was preparing a special sauce for my soya and on the other end I was washing, cutting, microwaving the veggies and preparing a scrumptious lunch that I had pledged to cook in the morning.

My mind was wavering, I was obviously off my WIFI and for good reasons. My music playlist was blaring from my phone and I was actually busy in the humdrum of the kitchen. I literally had no clue how time passed or how I managed and not just managed won multitasking in the morning.  My mom is an expert at it, while I’m barely scratching the surface when it comes to fabulous cooking.

I realized one thing with this, if I wouldn’t have made the choice to cook I wouldn’t have achieved anything. I would have slept a little longer may be with my thoughts a buzz. Also, since the Wifi was off, no attention went there, I peacefully did all my tasks and only while having my favorite cheese omelet I gladly turned it on. The online world wasn’t missing me anyway.

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To the Oddball

Among the cheesiest compliments, pout-a-licious selfies, embellished sarees draped perfectly along with matching jewelry, best-dressed community, who prod at themselves, and then there is me in a corner.

I feel like somehow I’ve surpassed the selfies, have no interest in dressing extravagantly for any occasion and mostly aloof, lost in my buzz of thoughts far away,  can easily claim to be the oddball of the family.

Social gatherings tire me, forget the urge to shop, just getting into a shopping mall is an anxiety filled ride by itself. Is there a feeling? Am I the only one?

After all, I’ve seen, sometimes, things really get to me. It’s an easy to pass off phase but then suddenly that feeling that maybe because I’m not good enough, people don’t hang with me becomes a huge deal, the feeling becomes overwhelming like it is today.

It seems a bit weird because it’s really been a while I’ve been feeling this way. Utterly non-existent entity, I can classify it into. More like if I were dead or alive it wouldn’t matter, anyway it frankly doesn’t because the world moves with or without you.

Sometimes, its really good until the world caves in, the problem looks a wee bit bigger than the solution and the only way out of this labyrinth is to totally avoid it

We’re the lonesomes, the one that ends up going alone to concerts, we don’t hesitate to eat solo, we’re those that feel absolutely lonely in a room full of crowd. We’re those who can be introverted extroverts at times. There are moments where we feel invisible and there are moments we smirk, pout and move along.